I Like
Saturday, March 6, 2010»4:19 PM
Listening to one of my current favourites, 'I Like' by Keri Hilson, I decided to put my post title as the name of the song haha.
Havn't been blogging as usual. Have been rather caught up with tests and Prelims which is due to end next Saturday. Following that would be the major exam in May! Feel rather unprepared... sighs... hate this feeling. I always start out my academic year at my various new schools full of drive and determination but always seem to lose steam halfway through. This was the exact scenario from Primary School till now. However, a more positive aspect would be that at the last minute I would suddenly awake from my slumber and charge all the way for my exams haha. However, it would mostly be too late to achieve excellent results so my results have always been slightly better than average which is basically not good enough for super good schools but not that horrible either -.- (which basically leaves me caught in the middle)
As history never fails to repeat itself, here I am, sluggish and unwilling to study hard for my Prelims. As a result, I think I performed rather badly for all my papers so far =x Thank God the results for the Prelims do not contribute to the final exams or I'll just have the word 'doom' looming over my entire University career -.- Anyway, it was a rather fresh experience leaving the exam hall before the examinations ended haha. I've never done that before! The feeling was rather great in a sense because it was something new to me and the feeling whereby you were leaving behind all the struggling or hard-at-work students was kind of awesome =x At least I completed about 3/4 of the papers before I left the hall, unlike my fellow course mate who just stared into space for the whole first hour whereby we're not allowed to leave the hall and when the minute hand struck 12 an hour later, he immediately got up and left lol.
Have been suffering from a bout of family problems for the past 3 months and it was certainly unbearable. The problem still persists but things have been slightly better. Needless to say, this has been affecting my mood for my studies and other things but I can only continue to place my trust in my daddy God because I know that He'll make everything alright (:
I'm currently in an emotional standstill. Feeling rather void at the moment, or rather I've mostly been feeling void. What is life? I suppose everyone would have their own answer to this question. If only life could be like a fairytale, where everything ends with a 'Happily Ever After', how good would that be? I believe everyone would want life to go his or her own way but it mostly isn't so.
Recently I've begun to miss shooting again. Shooting was my pride and my passion but I no longer have access to shooting like in the past. It's such a shame to cease doing something I enjoy and excel in but circumstances forbid. Air Rifle shooting is so unlike Air Pistol shooting, as I need my suit, my gloves and my gun. Most importantly, I need a range. The largest contributing factor to all these obstacles is its cost which ultimately comes down to money. It is extremely costly to get your own rifle and suit and to have access to a range, you will need to join a club membership. Furthermore, I don't have a personal coach anymore so I find it meaningless to continue with shooting. Oh well, maybe it's time to put shooting down and bid goodbye to one of the best stages of my life.
Of course, besides shooting itself, I miss my shooters. I dare claim that SRJC's Shooting Team of 07/08 will always be the best! Our batch had the best performance during Nationals in 08 and we're also the most united batch in SR's Shooting Club History as most of us believe. Really miss all our outings, all the fun we had in the range, all our Shooting sub-clubs, especially the Bridge sub-club haha. We also had one of the best Shooting Camps (I believe), especially the awesome nightwalk which scared a few juniors =x The most memorable chalet I've ever had was also our Shooting Chalet in December 08 with the tiring but extremely team-bonding night cycling. It was an awesome experience especially when 2 bikes deflated haha. Nevertheless, what's left with all these experiences are only memories. If only I could travel back in time and relive the best parts of all these memories, then I would have more joyful moments in my life (:
On a side note, I also miss the times spent with melia and lennon, the friend who never fails to make your day, except when he's super depressed, it can be really frightening =x I'll never forget that day when melia parked her car at the SRC carpark and went to the toilet, leaving lennon and I inside to wait. Cheeky lennon kept urging me to drive the car off and park it somewhere else and I eventually gave in. It was really funny, asking lennon to help me see if I've parked nicely and the look on melia's face when she came back haha. Well, those were the days haha. Speaking of which, havn't hung out with lennon for a really long time... hope he's doing well in his course and maybe we could have an outing after exams and a shooting outing, a proper nice one with FULL attendance please!
This may very well be the last post from now till the end of my exams which is in mid May so treasure this last post my dear surviving readers! May God bless all of you and Jesus loves you (: Study hard and never make decisions which will cause you regrets!
& the city never stops
Surreal
Thursday, January 14, 2010»7:51 PM
Time to blog! Time to blog! Time to blog! Havn't been blogging for ages as usual... doubt I have any readers left by now haha. Ok, great, I'm having writers block at this present moment lol. Anyway, over the past 2 weeks many things have happened. Most memorable would be our mini shooters gathering for our Captain who was about to leave for Austrailia for pilot training! Becoming a pilot has been my childhood dream, since 3? Ever since I donned my dad's pilot cap, I had this burning desire to become one. As I grew older, my passion didn't die, it only grew stronger. However, there were and still are constraints such as my height! (this is the saddest of all) I would also like to fly with SIA but unfortunately, they do not employ female pilots so Silk Air would do fine, provided I manage to grow taller or a miracle happens and they decide to employ me irregardless (I'm only 3cm short of the criteria so cut me some slack! =x) Nevertheless, it is not easy to pass the interview and tests, let alone the training. I really wish that one day I could survive all those obstacles and emerge a proud, full-fletched pilot (: Well, that is my dream but unfortunately, dreams may not become reality, so I did make back-up plans in case my pilot dream fails haha. That is the reason why I'm pursuing a diploma in Econs, followed by a degree majoring in Econs and Finance.
Back to the topic on outings, the dinner with my shooters was truly a God-send. I'm thankful to God and count every blessing he has given me. During times like this when my aunt is around, it is incredibly difficult to meet up with my friends, so every opportunity to hang out with my friends is considered a blessing (: Anyway, we had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market at Marina Square. The shooters who attended were LQ (our main star), Felix, Henry (who left before I arrived), Shu Qi, SL, melia, myself and Lennon (who came for only 10 mins -.-). We chatted and ate and I played iPhone games as well haha. Later on, as my mum hadn't called me yet (she's supposed to call me when she's ready to pick me up), we proceeded on to our favourite activity- drinking! =x Went to an Irish pub to drink beer, as SL loved Heineken and her birthday was approaching so we gave in to her haha. So, we settled down, then ordered a jug of Heineken. Oswald joined us for drinks so we had additional company! We decided the first round would be finished in one mouth so, we all held our breaths and gulped down our beer as fast as we could as the loser would have to pay for our drinks! Turns out the last one to finish his/her glass was our Queen of Heineken, SL! lol. When i gulped mine down, i almost had a brain freeze. It was so cold and the glass was so full that I had to hold my breath for quite awhile and suck in the coldness *shivers*. After my first Heineken experience, I sort of took a liking to it. I tried Tiger Beer and Guiness Stout before but they weren't to my fancy. Heineken suits me just fine lol. So I decided not to despise beer anymore and to drink Heineken if I had to drink a beer lol. After the drinking session, we were kind of full and didn't order anymore drinks. We then took group pictures and chatted the rest of our time away. Although the meet-up was a relatively short one, I truly enjoyed myself. I missed our shooters so much so I was really pleased to be able to meet them (:
Next would be my super short dinner with wl, melia and mabel. It was wl's birthday that day but I couldn't celebrate it with her. Thankfully, my mum and aunt were full from a heavy late lunch and didn't want to have dinner so my dad had to take myself and my sis out for dinner. Seizing the opportunity, I begged my dad to let me meet up with wl and the rest so I could have dinner and hopefully cake with them. Everything went smoothly and I managed to meet the girls and we had a nice dinner and cake at Canele (: Later on, we took pictures and my dad sent melia and mabel to Kovan MRT Station and in between there was a whole lot of fuss! Anyway, everything went fine and it was all due to my daddy God. I had prayed that I would be able to at least join the girls for dinner and God made my prayer come true (: so so so thankful to my daddy God- With God, all things are possible (:
The most incredible event would be my shooting chalet! It seemed absolutely impossible for me to go for my shooting chalet with my aunt around. Thank God, we managed to bluff my aunt over by saying that it was a shooting camp! As my sis is currently in SR shooting club, my mum had fabricated the story (I came up with the whole plot while my mum fine-tuned it lol) that my sis had to attend a compulsory shooting camp at the chalet (what rubbish =x) and me, being the ex vice cap and top shooter (my mum had to butter up the story so it would sound really good but it's true that my record hasn't been broken yet and I selfishly wish it would never be broken =x) , I was invited to the camp as well. My mum then added that there would be a few teachers around and one of them is really fierce (fierce teachers sound pleasing to my aunt's ears) and that having me around to look after my sis would be better (: What a beautifully fabricated tale! My mum could be a scriptwriter or something haha. Anyway, we carried on with the lie and went for our "camp". The chalet was loads of fun! Initially I thought it would be boring as not everyone was staying over. However, it turned out to be lots of drinking fun! we even played lots of games we didn't play before as a team. It was nice meeting up with our seniors and juniors as this time, the chalet was organised for 4 batches of shooters, my batch being the 2nd senior batch. I had lots of fun playing Indian Poker and the Circle of Death (all drinking games =x), as well as Bridge with my juniors haha. Later in the early morning we even played Murderer lol. However, the only thing I didn't quite enjoy was being kept in the room with my seniors while they were dancing to loud music. They were so high and kept asking us to dance along with them! Jessica (my RCY ma'am and shooting senior) even made us gulp down vodka to get us high 0.0 I didn't get the least bit tipsy though (I could still hold my liqour despite being out of touch with it for quite awhile hehe). Anyway, we watched our seniors dance and man could they dance! *whistles* However, melia did get kind of high and started shouting at people which got me mad -.- she even climbed ontop of the cupboard just to get direct air from the air con -.- Lennon got so drunk he spouted nonsense the whole time and Li Quan our senior got quite pissed with him haha. On the whole, the chalet this round was a variation from last year's and although it was really nice and fun but I still preferred last year's chalet because we were just so cohesive (: A huge thank you to Li Quan and Shannon and everyone who helped organise our shooting chalet. A 4-batch chalet isn't an easy task but you guys made it a success (:
My birthday is coming up soon... somehow I have lost all hope of having a wonderful birthday. Last year's experience was really traumatic for me and it seemed to have left a shadow behind. I no longer dare to hope for a nice birthday as I don't want to be let down anymore. It's just like what my Econs lecturer said about our expectations. We should not have high expectations but instead have low expectations of certain things so that when the thing happens, we would feel happier if we had initially expected much lower. I don't know if you understand what I had just typed but the example he gave was, if he told us students that lecture would end at 12pm but he ends lecture at 11.40am, we would feel happy about being let off 20min earlier. However, if he had told us that lecture would end at 11.30am and he lets us off at 11.40am, we would feel upset as he let us off 10min later. Same goes for our expectations. Having said so, I shall just treat my birthday like any other ordinary day and not expect anything so I wouldn't feel bad if it wasn't great but I'll feel glad if it turned out great (:
I'm feeling rather tired these days, be it emotionally or physically. Feel so lost and helpless... I really want to do something to break free from my aunt's clutches but I can't. I feel so weak and powerless... sighs.. Going crazy soon. I thank my Lord Jesus for sustaining me, especially during this tough period. I sincerely pray that my family and I would be rid of my aunt soon, AMEN!
Exams for UOL students are in 3 months and 3 weeks so study hard everyone! I must start studying too.. I cannot let myself or my parents down anymore. I must study! Distinction here I come! X) God bless all my readers and Jesus loves you (:
& the city never stops
FAITH!
Friday, December 25, 2009»5:54 PM
I'm currently surviving on a 5-letter word called 'faith'. When all else fails, just put your trust in God (: My "beloved" aunt arrived on Tuesday evening. Her flight was scheduled to arrive at 6 but guess what time she came out? almost 7. Up until the point where she appeared, I still held onto the hope that she would not come this year. While all the other passengers had claimed their luggage from the carousel, she was nowhere in sight. To our dismay, she appeared much later. First day is always good. We went for dinner at her favourite joint TCC, then went home with smiles. 2nd day, I didn't really get to see much of her as I was busy preparing for pb's commissioning ball haha (my mum cleverly bluffed my aunt saying that I was attending my uni prom 0.0) So anyway, I spent the whole Wednesday afternoon and evening preparing for the ball. Went to Sephora to do my makeup. I requested for the Supervisor of Sephora, Dianna? (forgot her name =x) to do it for me since the makeup artist I knew, Didi, was having an off-day. The results were really great, not heavy and very natural. The false eyelashes I used really created a drastic change to my look! I instantly had bigger eyes with double eyelids haha (: As for my hair, I rushed home after having my make up done and my mum (who is really good at styling hair) helped me with it. End result? Gorgeous. Ok, perhaps not supermodel gorgeous because you need basic assets to start off with in order to look supermodel gorgeous which I unfortunately lack. However, my family and even my friends whom I met at the ball said I look pretty (: I even encountered a hotel staff wolf-whistling me while I was waiting for pb at the hotel entrance 0.0 Ok, enough of self-praise. The ball was really nice, with really nice food. I even sat at the same table as Amos, my 1st 3 months OG mate. Apparently he is pb's bunkmate haha! I also accquainted myself with pb's friend's date who was seated next to me. She was really friendly and I even gave her some tips for passing BTT as her BTT was coming soon haha. As for the performances, there was alot of singing, both done by professionals, as well as the guys themselves. The singing act done by Foxtrot was entertaining, especially the parody of '12 days of Christmas' haha. The one done by Delta was awesome as the guy really could sing! I really admire his vocals and his guts as half the time, he was entertaining us on stage. pb was also really nice to me as he kept explaining all their army training etc. and showed me their yearbook. Initially I thought that I was going to feel weird there but everything turned out fine (: I was also really pleased to see Cherissa and Faizah! Didn't see them for decades! lol. As for photos, I didn't take much as I had no space for a camera in my wallet -.- (I had to use my wallet as a clutch bag because I couldn't find a suitable one -.-) To sum everything up, I really enjoyed myself so thanks pb for inviting me and thanks for your christmas present as well (:
I would like to thank my daddy God for all the blessings he has showered upon me. Every opportunity to go out with my friends is considered a blessing to me for this holiday. I sincerely pray that I will be able to go for my shooting chalet next saturday and sunday, in Jesus' name, Amen. All you readers kindly pray for me as well. Thanks! X) Here's wishing everyone a happy holiday. Blessed Christmas and a Blessed New Year! Jesus loves you (:
& the city never stops
Void
Saturday, December 19, 2009»6:39 PM
No special feelings currently. Feel really void. The most dreadful date of this year would be 22nd December. The date where my dreadful aunt arrives. sighs. There are a few happy occasions to celebrate in this dreadful state though. Firstly, I'm really relieved that my tests are over! My only hope for full marks is Statistics. Math is such a goner... I won't even get 90 over % I guess? Because I couldn't finish the paper! :( My test 1 results, except for POA were really brilliant... it's really depressing not being able to finish my Math paper and I didn't manage to balance or finish my POA paper either *screams* As for Econs, I'm getting more inconfident of this subject but it's my fault for not studying much for Econs and as a result, I crapped through the long question which carried the bulk of the marks 0.0 I still couldn't believe that I had actually gotten 75% for my first Econs test which is a brilliant feat as Econs is really tough (I only had 75% but I was 2nd in the cohort for Econs 0.0) I got 98% for Math due to carelessness -.- and 100% for Stats (: POA had me slaughtered and I was so afraid I would fail but I managed to get a borderline pass of 43% =x Our passing rate for now is 40% and above but next year it would be increased to 45% or so I heard. I really wanted to prove myself but somehow I lost my motivation along the way. I am gradually reverting back to my old lazy self and I really do not wish for that to happen. I shall strive to become a full-time mugger but I'm going to study smart and not just study hard. I shall become a dilligent student and make my lecturers proud when I receive my distinction next year! Amen! haha.
Another delightful news would be our long awaited shooting gathering! Initially it was supposed to be a chalet but due to some irresponsible people, we didn't manage to do that. The latest update for our gathering would be a Bbq at East Coast next Saturday. Actually, I'm not sure if I can attend the gathering due to the arrival of my aunt but I'll try my best and I believe that God will help me with it (:
The last piece of news has mixed feelings attached because I don't know whether to feel happy or weird? I'm attending a Commissioning Ball with someone whom I shall not mention just in case the person does not want me to? I'm just looking forward to witnessing the grand event as I had seen pictures of previous Commissioning Balls and it looked really nice haha.
Lastly, I have a Birthday wish but I don't know whether I should divulge it or not. I know not many people read my blog, maybe only 2, but hint hint, the wish involves the people whom I've told my blog address to (: Maybe I shall reveal my wish on my next post? Maybe not? haha.
Yay! Going out tomorrow with melia and Lennon (: Hope everything turns out fine and we'll have lots of fun before I'm caged up. Until my next post, here's wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas holiday and a Blessed New Year. God bless and Jesus loves you (:
& the city never stops
The Wait Is Over...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009»9:28 PM
Brand new blog, brand new life, brand new posts. Have been wanting to change my blog address since centuries ago, as my initial blog address was supposed to be my sister's haha. Like why in the world would I use 'sugarcrushgal' as my blog address? =x
As usual, I haven't been blogging since a few months ago? I think my old blog is growing moss and algae already =x Now that it's been officially abandoned, I think it's time for it to rest in peace haha.
My life has changed. I wanted to use the words 'metamorphosis', 'masquerade' or 'facade' for my new blog address as that is how I feel about my life right now. Unfortunately, those options were too popular so the combinations of those words have already been snapped up. Anyway, this new address isn't too shabby either. At least it represents my true self (:
As I've mentioned earlier, my life has changed. Drastically. I'm not sure how to describe my life right now. I only know that I'm living life as the days go by, like a headless soul floating around. I miss the innocence of my childhood, not needing to care about many things in life. As we mature, we are inevitably forced to accept responsibilities and to deal with the harsh realities of life. As a child, a heartbreak might mean no more than having your candy or your toy snatched away from you. As you grow up, a heartbreak will mean so much more and may even cause you to feel that dying would be a better option. Along with the years added to our age, innocence is deducted away. We are then compelled to absorb all the weariness and ugliness of life.
Sometimes, I abhor living. To me, if I can't live life the way I want it to be, in ways that make me happy, I would rather not live. Has it ever occurred to you why your parents wanted to have children? It's probably because they blindly followed society's obligation to procreate, because that's the next "logical" step after marriage (no offense intended). Society is forcing its perceptions on us and as a result, there are many restrictions in life. Why can't everyone just live life the way they want, as long as no lives are harmed?
I'm living the life of a criminal. My every move is being monitored and I have to report to my authorities every move i make. Very soon, in about 2 weeks, the arrival of my aunt will only tighten security. I would then be permanently jailed, without any allowance of freedom. Oh, how great my life is! I dare not claim that what I'm going through is more severe than others, as I do agree that every family has its problems. I guess this is the way life works?
On a lighter note, I have been allowed morsels of freedom almost every weekend. For the past 2 months or so, melia and I have been going out with our dear Lennon. I'm quite thankful to have lennon around, as he is the reason I could go out every week haha. The 3 of us always have a lot of fun together, except for the incident 2 weeks ago? It's really my fault and it resulted from my insecurities. Sighs. I've become more insecure recently and the feeling really kills. I'm really sorry to my dear melia and lennon, for spoiling about 1 hour of our time together and I hope we're all fine now (:
Another token of happiness would be due to my 2 friends who have forgiven me I hope? =x Just a few weeks ago, both yeo yeo( I haven't called you this for very long (:) and christopher approached me on msn. Well, msn is a start (: I'm really appreciative for the both of your actions. I thought I had lost 2 friends and I really didn't want to make 2 new enemies. I was really clueless as to how we ended up this way but I sincerely apologise for any mistake I may have made and I hope we can remain as friends (:
I don't know how many or who will read my blog but here's wishing all my readers a happy and blissful life ahead. God bless (:
& the city never stops
